Today was a tricky day

I guess this is one of those pointless personal blogs but, I've got to make good use of this website somehow. I've been in deep thought all day today I woke up today to my fish having passed. I didn't cry but it was a little sad.

The trippy thing is that I'd dreamed about it in an indirect way and it gave me de ja vu to the passing of my mother 11 months ago now. About a week before she passed on, I'd dreamed that the porch covering in the back yard had fallen over onto my garden bed. That dream had given me pause because I was well aware of how the Lord can communicate things through our dreams and symbols. Then, a week later I think I cracked the code on how that porch covering represented a drastic change to my environment and with that, I'd have to adjust things to continue on.

While I'm not grievous anymore, I do find myself reflecting on her passing quite often and I suppose that's only natural too, because she'll have been gone for a year on February 10th.

I'd only had Cal for a little over two months which, admittedly, isn't as hard hitting as someone you've known for a little over two decades. I'd dreamed last night that he was trying to jump out of the tank while I cleaned it (which he never did) and even almost managed to tip it over while trying to make his escape. This part was comically out of place because a 3 inch betta would not be capable of tipping over a 2 gallon tank. Only after waking up to see him having passed did I realize what that dream was.

I do find it odd that he'd not just there staring at me from behind his favorite little bush. He was a fun and quirky little guy and I doubt if any other pet will have his same odd charms. That being said, I think I'll chill on having pets for a while. I do miss having cats but, my grandmother isn't too keen on animals that could invade her space. And as for me? I don't want to be faced with anymore potential loss for quite some time. 😅 God willing.

This has been a weird contemplative day for sure.

Anyhoo, all is well, he got a burial and he'll always be remembered.